Multigenerational Christmas: How We’ve Hosted for 16 Years With Three & Four Generations Under One Roof

The 15-foot Christmas tree is visible the second you walk through the kitchen—and that tree was my parents’ idea.

When we bought the house almost eight years ago, my dad looked at the ceiling height and his eyes lit up like a kid in a candy store. “We need a tall tree. We’ll pitch in for a Balsam Hill.”

I wasn’t about to turn down that offer, so we got the tallest one we could find!

The week before Thanksgiving, my brother, Jim, and my son haul up six enormous tree bags from the basement (because yes, a 15-foot tree comes in SIX bags), and they get to work. It’s become a tradition at this point—one they can execute with their eyes closed and probably a beer or two.

My dad supervises from the chair. He funded it, so he’s earned the right 😉

My mom hands them ornaments and gives direction of placement.

Last month, our multi-gen story was featured again in the Boston Globe and as I was going down memory lane with the reporter, it was pretty crazy to think about the amount of time that has passed!

This is our 16th year doing Christmas as a multigenerational family living under one roof and what a wild ride it’s been! Do you ever think back and say, “how did I get here and where did all the time go?” I have been asking myself that a lot lately!

The Tradition That Stuck (Even After Divorce)

When my son was born 19 years ago, I started the Feast of the Seven Fishes on Christmas Eve.

My ex-husband is Sicilian and wanted our son to grow up with the same tradition he had—minus the Catholic mass part because, well, I’m not Catholic. But I loved the idea, so I dove in.

Seven types of fish. Multiple courses. The whole production.

My family—none of whom are Italian or Catholic—fell in love with it. My aunts, cousins and brother started asking what was on the menu weeks in advance and over time it became their tradition too.

So when I got divorced over eight years ago, my entire family made it clear: “You’re still doing the fish, right?”

I kind of felt bad scaling it back, but here’s the truth—nobody really asked or noticed. Instead of seven fishes, I do three now:

• Haddock sautéed in tomatoes (stovetop)
• Salmon in the oven
• Big seafood chowder in the crockpot

Less to buy. Less to prep. And let’s be real—it’s expensive to pull off the full feast for 25+ people!

My mom prepares all the American food and desserts. It was a blended version of Italian meets English and French traditions which we morphed into our own.

Over the years, my mom has started having a lot of it catered and just picks everything up Christmas Eve morning. Mac and cheese, pigs in a blanket, apps, desserts—the works.

It’s easier. She likes it and I get the kitchen to myself 😉. Everyone wins!

The Multigenerational Christmas Food Tour

In our first multigenerational house, we had multiple kitchens (3 to be exact) basically two houses under one roof, all connected. So we created what I call the “Christmas Food Tour.”

If you are new here, of the 16+ years we’ve been living multigenerational living, eight of them were spent as four generations under one roof.

So many of you will remember my grandfather above!

He was my sidekick for 8 years (2011-2019) while we all lived under one roof and he……

LOVED. THIS. BLOG! It took him years (and if I’m being honest, I don’t think he ever really completely understood the internet) to wrap his head around what a blog was and how every person he knew, knew exactly what was going on in his world 😂.

He had no idea how popular he was with all of you 😉. As I am looking at this picture, my dad currently is the spitting image of him!

The Christmas food tour tradition started at our previous house.

The main house was 3,000 square feet with four bedrooms, three baths, and a kitchen/great room. This was the house I grew up in—a Tudor turned colonial house that my dad kept expanding over the years.

Over the years while I was growing up, my dad added the apartment above the garage—1,100 square feet with two bedrooms and one bath (this is where I had my modern farmhouse office at one point).

That apartment housed so many people over the years! My aunt and uncle at one point, me after college, my brother after college, plenty of our friends when they needed a place to land, and eventually my grandparents (my dad’s parents) in 2011.

Prior to my ex and my family moving in, in 2008, my dad added a full finished 1,500-square-foot walk-out basement with its own kitchen, great room, bathroom, and two bedrooms.

By the time he was done, he’d added an additional 4,000 square feet to the original house, turning it into the ultimate multigenerational compound. Three kitchens. Multiple living spaces. Room for everyone to have their own space while still being together.

The holiday food tour on Christmas Eve would start on my family’s side of the house where I had the Feast of the Seven Fishes and appetizers set up. We’d eat, open gifts, hang out.

Then we’d migrate to my parents’ side of the house—their kitchen and family room—for dessert and more gifts.

It was intentional. We wanted to honor all households, make sure nobody felt like they were just “guests” in someone else’s home. It worked beautifully!

Our current house (we bought it almost eight years ago) has one kitchen and one big open floor plan with two great rooms.

So there’s no formal “tour” anymore—people just naturally migrate between spaces. But I love that we created that tradition in the old house because it set the tone: we share this celebration, we each play a role, and nobody’s in charge!

The Division Of Labor That Actually Works

Here’s the secret to pulling off Christmas Eve for 25+ people when three generations live under one roof:

Everyone has a job.

• Me: The three seafood dishes
• My mom: All the American food and desserts (mostly catered now)
• Jim: The bar (he’s become known as “the bartender” and everyone asks what holiday drink he’s making)
• My dad: All the dishes afterward
• My son: Behave and take care of the trash! 😉
• Mom, Dad, and I: Leftovers duty

The guys in the family—my dad, Jim, my son—could care less about the details as long as there’s food. So they stay out of the planning!

My mom and I do a quick menu planning session a couple weeks before Christmas, and that’s it. Easy peasy. Low stress.

We don’t bump into each other in the kitchen because I do my thing as if she wasn’t in the house, and she does hers as if I wasn’t there. Mutual respect. Boundaries. Nobody messes with anyone else’s stuff.

It just works. 🤷‍♀️

The Year It All Changed

The Christmas after my divorce was probably the hardest.

Financially, mentally and emotionally, I was struggling. The idea of pulling off the full Feast of the Seven Fishes felt impossible and I had zero desire to even celebrate if I’m being honest.

My mom looked at me and said, “Don’t even worry about it. I’ll buy all of the food and you just make it!”

So that’s what we did! It was super important to me to keep the tradition going because my son was 11 years old at the time and keeping things as consistent as possible for his sake, was the goal.

The Pinterest Pressure I Finally Let Go

When my son was little, I was working full-time as a blogger, doing prop styling for HomeGoods and several other home decor brands. I started decorating for Christmas in October! We had six to seven trees decorated throughout the house and it was a 90-day lead-up to Christmas Eve.

And honestly? I loved it. My son grew up with the best and craziest holiday home because of all that home decor brand work.

The gingerbread-making weekends with friends, the cookie decorating, the magic—it was all worth it when he was little.

Over the years as things changed (because let’s face it, chapters come and go in your life), we decorate WAY more minimally, less chaos and two to three trees now. It’s much simpler!

Do I miss the elaborate decorations? Yeah, sometimes.

But here’s what I know now that I didn’t know back then:

The small stuff doesn’t matter. And it’s your anxiety wrecking havoc.

Half the stuff I used to tell myself (what I thought people wanted, needed, or thought about my house) was all nonsense. Made up in my head.

Little kids definitely make Christmas more magical. But you can still love it after they grow up. It’s just different.

The Real Secret To 16+ Years Of Multigenerational Christmas

People always ask me how we pull this off year after year without drama.

Here’s the truth: We treat each family under one roof as individual.

My mom doesn’t feel like she’s “less involved” just because she’s not cooking everything anymore. She’s relieved. Less work for her.

I don’t feel like I need to perform or prove anything. This is our house. We say “our house” when people ask where Christmas is happening.

Jim claimed the bartender role because he likes making drinks, and now everyone expects it. My dad does the dishes because he wants to (well kind of … 😂).

My mom and I split the food prep because it makes sense.

Nobody’s resentful. Nobody’s keeping score. Nobody feels slighted.

Don’t sweat the small stuff.

That’s the lesson after 16 years of living like this.

The oven schedule? We figure it out. The menu changes? Nobody really notices. The decorations? Three trees is plenty.

Sometimes I forget how lucky I am. Many people don’t have family to spend the holidays with, or there’s tension and estrangement. I really am very lucky!

What I’d Tell Someone Facing Their First Multigenerational Christmas

If you just moved in with your parents (or vise versa) and you’re freaking out about hosting Christmas for the first time—here’s what I want you to hear:

You’re making up half the problems in your head.

What you think people want or expect? Probably not true.

The small stuff you’re stressing about? It doesn’t matter.

Focus on division of labor. Everyone gets a job. Treat each household as individual even under one roof. Have boundaries and mutual respect.

Your house doesn’t need to look like a magazine. Your menu doesn’t need to impress anyone. Your traditions can evolve.

After 16 years, I can tell you this: the magic isn’t in the decorations or the number of fish dishes you make.

It’s in showing up. It’s in the people. It’s in the fact that you’re all still doing this together.

That’s the real tradition 😉.

I would love to know what your holiday traditions are and especially if you are multiple generations under one roof! Send me an email or leave a comment below 😊.