How is it living with your parents and Jim? – Crossroads part 3
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Today I’m sharing part 3 of the crossroads series, “how is it living with your parents and Jim?” You can get caught up with part 1 (new job and divorce) and part 2 ( do you still like blogging and sharing personal family stuff) if you missed the previous two posts.
Thank you also for all your emails and comments on social media about Jim’s new closet makeover! It’s awesome and wait until you see the big closet makeover – that’s coming this weekend!
Multigenerational living with your parents
If you have been following along since the beginning of what seems like forever ago, you know that at the “old house” we had our own kitchens (3 to be exact) so there was not a lot of overlap/common areas. Sharing a kitchen is the biggest difference vs our old house.
Many of you have emailed over the course of the year asking how do I find it now, still living in a multigenerational home with a new man!
Multigenerational living was never a planned choice and certainly not with four generations but …..
My ex husband and I initially moved into my childhood home in 2008 with my parents which was supposed to be temporary while we purchased a new home.
The market was tricky back in 2008 and selling and buying at the same time was nearly impossible.
We needed to move to get closer to my ex husbands work and my parents house was about 20 minutes closer so we temporarily moved in with them.
We just never left!
We added an additional 1600 square feet to the house and renovated to make room for all of us.
You can find all of those renovations starting here on page 11 of “our projects.”
My son was two years old when we moved into my parents house and my ex worked a million hours so having my parents emotional support was helpful.
It was actually a blessing in disguise (the multigenerational living) as the next few years were a rollercoaster for me personally.
I thank God everyday for my parents and their emotional support.
Fast forward almost 13 years, multigenerational living looks a lot different in my world.
Since getting divorced and now having Jim in my life, I am at a much different place. It’s like starting over. It’s very similar to when I graduated college and went out on my own, except I have a teenage son now. Do you ever look back on your life and say, “what the heck happened over the last 25+ years?”
Isn’t it crazy how life changes?
My son doesn’t need me as much now although sometimes I wish he would need me! It’s much different now than when he was a toddler and really up until a year or so ago.
I don’t know what happens to teens but it’s like you “lose them” when they turn 13 years old.
They go from being this cute little adorable child that gives you love , kisses and wants to be with you to this mini somewhat adult person who is now taller than you – that talks back, hides in their room, plays xbox all day with friends and you are lucky if you get a nasty glare from them. 🤪
Not going to lie, I struggle with this sometimes. Like, where did my mamma’s boy go!? 😫
That’s a topic for another day.
I’ve been given the opportunity to “start fresh” with Jim so it’s definitely different now – all living under one roof.
Fortunately, our current house is setup so that we all have our own space (TV rooms ect.) and one common area of the kitchen.
We are creating a master suite on the second floor with a large walk-in closet for Jim and I as my parents master is on the first floor on the far end of the house.
My parents are both 71 and are planning to go south or somewhere warm for a portion of the year soon so I know they are looking forward to that. I think they will enjoy the time away and it will be good for all of us.
I kiddingly tell them that they need to have a place where it’s warm so we can come visit for a week in the winter. 😉
One of the biggest issues with any multigenerational living situation is privacy.
We are in a unique situation right now because of Covid where my son is doing full remote learning, I work from home full time and my mom is retired which means she his home full time too.
If anyone is getting on each others nerves, it’s the three of us because we are all home all the time. -ha.
All kidding aside though, we do a good job of “doing our own thing” and staying out of each others business.
The answer to the question, “does your son like Jim?”
Yes, my son likes Jim!! -ha.
Jim has the innate ability to be goofy, funny and create fun “kid” things to do so my son gets a kick out of him. 😉
My parents also love Jim and he feels the same about them. My parent are very unique in that they are very supportive and do a good job minding their own business. In fact, I think (actually I know) my dad is completely oblivious to what goes on around him ????. Which is totally fine by me!
Stay tuned, next week I will be answering the question of, “will you plan on keeping the house long term and will continue to live as a multigenerational family forever?” We have some exciting plans moving forward!
About The Author
What started as a hobby, Jessica’s blog now has millions of people visit yearly and while many of the projects and posts look and sound perfect, life hasn’t always been easy. Read Jessica’s story and how overcoming death, divorce and dementia was one of her biggest life lessons to date.
I’m really glad that you’re answering these questions, because enquiring minds want to know, ha! I know what you mean about raising teenage sons, because I had three of them. They do come back around eventually:). Just make sure that your son always treats you with respect. I wish I had a dollar for every time that I had to tell mine, “Excuse me, but you will not talk to me like that!” At the same time, I learned that sometimes I had to sacrifice my words and just treat them as I wanted to be treated. Anyway, this too shall pass, just hang in there!
Hi! Yes, I agree on the respect thing , it’s painful sometimes ???? Thank you 🙂
Agreed with the comment above. And where did your sweet mama’s boy go???? LOL Girls I laughed over that one. I had 2 Mama’s boys. Those nasty teenager hormones kicked in and we had a parting of the waves(ways too). When they got their brains back, they became Mama’s boys again. My youngest lives at home at present. Sometimes he wants no one in his business and at other times, he will come and sit on my lap. LOL. The oldest has his own family. He usually calls twice a week. Boys are something else.
awwww that’s awesome ….when they got their brains back -haha. That made me laugh 🙂
In order to become men, they must pull away and set their values, limitations and tolerance. My son did the same thing but now he is in his 40s and calls me at least once or twice a week. They pull away with the strength they need to cut the cord. The tighter we hold on the more they have to pull away.
Enjoy all the years.
I found your blog today because I was just mulling over creating content about multigenerational living. My parents (dad and stepmom) and I have been sharing a home for almost 6 years and I am STRUGGLING…. I’m sure COVID did not help. It was reassuring to find someone else doing it.
Hi! Yes we are going on 12 years of multi gen living! I actually found it easier when we had 2 kitchens but we moved almost 4 years ago to a newer home with one kitchen. Most of the time sharing a kitchen isn’t bad but sometimes I do miss the privacy vs. when we had two kitchens. Privacy is key when you are multi gen living 🙂 Thankfully we have a lot of space in the home so we are not on top of each other and different TV rooms so that helps. Good luck with your living arrangement 🙂