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Is my Grandfather saying Goodbye before he dies?

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Is my grandfather saying goodbye before he dies? He has been having very strange periods of lucid moments where he carries on a full blown conversation and then falls asleep 15 minutes later. If you have been following my personal Facebook page, Jessica LaRock Bruno, you know that he has declined significantly in the last couple weeks. We have gotten a couple phone calls prior to last week where we thought the end was near and he then rallied, holding on for another week. Then another week. This has happened three times!

{updated on 3/22/19 bottom of this post}

Is my Grandfather saying Goodbye before he dies?

grandfather and granddaughter holding hands in hospital bed

Last Thursday, the Hospice nurse called and advised his heart rate was low and then high as well as blood in his urine. Whether his kidneys are failing or not, we do not know. I honestly thought when I saw him last Friday, it would be my last time. BUT the man rallied over the weekend and had a full blown conversation with my dad, brother and I. He knew exactly who we were and was joking with the nurses with his funny sense of humor. He even told the nurse he left his “pain at home.” He was referring to my late grandmother (his pain at home). I can remember him always telling his doctors that he left his “pain” (my gram) at home. -ha.

great grandfather, grandfather and grandson in garage

Lucid moments before death

The nurses told us that it is very common for people to rally before they die. As you know, my grandfather has severe dementia and his brain is literally gone. The fact that he is having lucid moments is amazing.

We got a call yesterday afternoon that my grandfather was agitated. Agitation and dementia go hand in hand but he has been so frail and weak these past few weeks, he hasn’t even had the energy to be agitated so this is somewhat new. I saw him last night and he could barely get any words out but he did say one thing to me, “I love ya hun.” The only words he was able to get out, were the best words ever.

Updated 3/22/19 – My grandfather is one tough old man. His heart isn’t ready to stop but we all said our goodbyes yesterday as he hasn’t been out of bed or eaten since I saw him this past Tuesday night, 3/19/19. He is comfortable and not in any pain. He had a moment yesterday with me where he opened his eyes and mumbled, I love you.  He also got really emotional with my dad, although he couldn’t get any words out. It’s amazing how his demented mind is almost like back to reality this past week. It was just last Friday he had a full blown conversation with us, as a total normal gramp.  We all told him it was ok to go see my gram in heaven and we would all be ok. We were all at the nursing home until about 9pm last night and I really thought he would have passed in his sleep but nope, the man is still hanging on as of this morning. As my dad said last night to him, “dad you have always been a bull your entire life…..and you are going to “go out” as a bull too.” Say a prayer for my gramp that he passes peacefully.

 

Meet Jessica

What started as a hobby, Jessica’s blog now has millions of people visit yearly and while many of the projects and posts look and sound perfect, life hasn’t always been easy. Read Jessica’s story and how overcoming death, divorce and dementia was one of her biggest life lessons to date.

35 Comments

  1. Thinking of you and sending hugs. It’s hard. 🙁

    1. Jacquelyn says:

      Sending Prayers for a peaceful passing. Hugs

  2. So happy your grandfather had a lucid moment to tell you that he loves you.

    1. Praying for you and your family during this difficult season of life. So glad for the lucid moments that your grandfather is having. I’m sure that you will remember these moments forever.

  3. I’ve seen this happen so often. Such a blessing that you’ll have these moments to share the love and say your goodbyes – even if unspoken.

  4. Karen Mullins says:

    It’s true, our lived ones do rally and have lucid moments. Happened with my Dad and later with my patients when I volunteered for hospice. Hospice is such a wonderful organization. So happy for his messages across to you and your family. Prayers for you all.❤

  5. Being told you are loved in the last days (even though you already know you are), are a special gift he gave you. ~ HUGS

  6. Gail Martin says:

    Reading this… I thought of my Mom and my grandpa. My mother had Alzheimers ( and I can never spell this word correctly to save my life). My dad tells that the nursing home had taken mom off a bunch of meds that they decided she didn’t need, an she had a very lucid few days before she passed away. She just went in her sleep while taking a nap. NOW she always knew who I was and my dad… even at her worse moments. Why, I do not know.
    My Grandpa, though, would yell out in his not so coherent moments. He was calling out baseball plays to either the Brooklyn Dodgers or the New York Giants. He played 1st base in the early 30’s. My dad would sit with him at night as said he would startle him awake when he did that.
    I think different people just react differently to their situation. I am praying for you because I know this is hard at best. You are a strong woman and your strength will come through when you least expect it. Much love and blessings,

    1. Hi Gail, thank you so much for your comment. You are right, it’s a very strange thing to go through. Sounds like you know exactly what I mean. Thank you again.

  7. That’s good that you’re getting to have some special moments with your grandfather. How neat that he was able to tell you he loved you. Your grandfather is so lucky to have such a loving family there to support him through all of this.

  8. What a special gift he gave you, telling you he loved. Keeping you all in my thoughts.????

  9. Anonymous says:

    Thank you for sharing these personal moments with us. They are ever so touching. I pray that your grandfather has an easy passing, and that God would continue to give you all strength as you go through this journey together.

  10. Thus makes me cry. So sorry for all that you are going through.

  11. Tammie Sassor says:

    Jessica, I am thinking of you and your family. My mother had Alzheimers and she had a very lucid moment two days before she passed. It was the most amazing moment that I will never forget. She couldn’t speak but she smiled, sat up in bed and grabbed for me. I saw her come alive in her eyes. She was so excited. I said hi mom. (She was only 74) Prayers for you and your family. And a hug for you. Kind Regards, Tammie

    1. Oh no I am so sorry to hear about your mom and her young age with this horrible disease. UGH. Thank you for your words of encouragement. I really appreciate it!

  12. mickie mclaughlin says:

    Such a sweet but sad post today. Dementia is such a cruel disease. My heart aches for you and your family, and especially your Grams.

  13. We are just starting our dementia journey with my Grandma; she is 90! You will be in my prayers….

  14. Hang in there Jessica ! He will soon reunite with that love of his life ! He will be at peace forever ! I also lost my mother to this disease ! She died very peacefully ! Anyway , cherish your special memories , you are very fortunate that you have this blog because you have pictures and documented stories over the years to cherish ! Take care , Cindy

  15. Patti Popham says:

    My prayers are with you and your family and I pray that your grandfather will slip gently slip away from this earth to join your grandmother in heaven. I have enjoyed reading about your grandfather through the years. Bless you.

  16. Cynthia C Spurlock says:

    I am so sorry! Praying you all find a special sense of peace during this time.

  17. Karen Miller says:

    Sending my prayers. After my mother had a massive stroke, she held on for a week. I had my daughter, my mom’s oy grandchild, call and leave a message on my phone. I played the message for my mom, she sighed and the next day she was gone

  18. So sorry for your pain. I’m glad you got to say goodbye to him. My Dads last word to me were I love you and it is the greatest gift!

  19. I’m so sorry Jess that your family has to go through this. Sending hugs to you all

  20. Lin (Linda) Mossgrove says:

    Keeping all of your family in prayer and sending you a gigantic cyber hug along with the prayers.. I did this journey with my Dad–it isn’t easy. Hold on to those last words and wonderful memories.

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