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My grandfather and losing my gram

I cannot even begin to tell you how appreciative we are for all the emails, messages and comments about my gram. I seriously cannot believe how many of you have reached out offering support. Thank you! My grandfather was here yesterday for the day and he is very down, quiet and weak. He can’t even stand without someone holding him. It’s like his legs are jello. He has been showing signs of weakness in his legs for the past month or so but would rally after a day or two. I am not sure he is going to rally as quick this time. Time will tell. 

My grandfather on losing my gram

We have been picking him up everyday since my gram passed and bringing him home to hang out with us. One of my aunts also brought him to her new house which I know he was happy to see. My gram never got a chance to see her new house as she became stuck in bed these last few weeks. The problem now is, my grandfather isn’t using is walker and dependent on a wheel chair for the most part. Like I said, he has been rallying these past few weeks occasionally using his walker but he isn’t as strong as he was a couple months ago. He literally can’t get in and out of a car without help. He is twice my size and unfortunately, I can’t help him. If he looses his balance, he is taking me down with him.  That wouldn’t be good for either one of us. -ha. 

multigenerational updates renewing wedding vows

My grandparents when they were teenagers.

I felt so bad thinking about him all alone last night at the nursing home. He always had my gram to go visit (they were on the same floor together) . He told me the day before she passed away that as soon as she was gone, he was planning to come home. Meaning, move back home with my parents and my family. He seriously thinks he is coming home. It’s so sad. I am not sure if you remember but we admitted him to a Dementia and Alzheimer’s hospital for a month earlier this year as we were concerned for his safety. Concerned he would try and hurt himself. His brain was messed up. After a month, they got him on a special cocktail which seemed to keep him manageable for a couple months. If you remember, we brought him home after the hospital and my grandparents moved into the main part of the house, so we could keep an eye on them. This all happened back in February 2017. In early May, we admitted him full time to a Nursing Home Facility (the same campus he has attended Camp for the past year) as we couldn’t care for him at home. We had 24/7 care for him at home but he became increasingly agitated and honestly, we thought he was going to hurt someone. He needed a med adjustment and we just couldn’t risk him staying at home. It was probably one of the hardest things I have ever had to do, take him with my dad and drop him off at his new home. 

Merry Christmas {Our Family Christmas Card 2016}

My grandparents last November when we had our 2016 Christmas pictures taken. This was before he had started falling, had to give up his license and when they were both fairly self sufficient. Amazing how fast they declined in one year. 

I am so thankful for last Christmas and these beautiful family pictures we had professionally taken.Graphic Striped Holiday Pajamas For Christmas Cards

My grandfather had only been living at the Nursing Home for about 2 months before my grandmother starting choking on her food at home and we admitted her to the Emergency Room. From there, she was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer which had originated from her Kidney Cancer 15 years ago. The cancer was now on her lung and hip. Sadly, she was now going to live at the Nursing Home with my grandfather as she needed 24/7 medical care which we couldn’t provide for her at home. She couldn’t toilet on her own, she couldn’t even get out of bed on her own. It was so sad.  My grandfather forgot why he was there at this point and just figured my gram was now there, he would be there with her too. Now that she is gone, he thinks he is coming home. It’s not a pretty existence for him now. As many of you know, any change (especially death of a loved one) can trigger an extreme change in Dementia and Alzheimer patients. My gram’s services are next Tuesday and Wednesday (you can see her obituary here) and once the services are over and everyone gets back to their work schedule, my grandfather is going to be left to continue on without my gram at the Nursing Home. If you are the praying type, please pray for strength for my grandfather. Please pray he will be social with others at the Nursing Home. Please pray he will make friends and continue eating his meals at the dining hall. He told me he is ready to leave this earth……  :(. 

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17 Comments

  1. Jessica. So sorry to hear this. Unfortunately people who have been together a long time don’t want to be without their loved one when one passes. My parents passed within 3 weeks of each other and we feel my mom didn’t want to live without my dad. Hope your gramps starts feeling better.

  2. AS BEAUTIFUL IN AGE AS THEY WERE IN YOUTH !!!!!!!

  3. Most certainly I will keep him in prayer as well as you through the days to come.

  4. Oh Jessica my heart just aches for you and your family, but most especially your poor grandfather. So lost. I most definitely will keep you and your entire family in my prayers. What a most difficult time for you.
    Cheri

  5. Jessica, I am so very sorry for the loss of your beloved Gram and watching your grandfather struggle with dimentia. It’s so hard for the family and I imagine it’s particularly difficult for you since you’re so close to them. I’ll keep him and all of you in my prayers, thinking of you in this sad time.

  6. Oh Jessica, I am lifting your family up daily in prayer. My heart hurts for you.
    Sending love from my multigenerational home to yours. XOXO

  7. I will be praying for your entire family . I’m sure your Dad’s heart is heavy at this time as he continues to be strong for everyone especially the grandchildren .

  8. Stand up for him and smile, try to get it happy as long as you are with him alive. That’s surely something that will also make you happy and regret nothing. He might not be easy sometimes, but deep in his heart he knows all you are working out and the love you feel. kisses ML

  9. I’m sorry your grandfather is having a more difficult time now. I will keep him and you in my prayers.

  10. Cynthia Spurlock says:

    This just makes me so sad for you and your family. It is so difficult to see our loved ones in pain. I will continue to pray that you will all find peace and comfort during this time of your lives.

  11. kathy kinman says:

    So sorry about your Gram and for your family. I will be praying for you all especially your Gramps. You are loved.

  12. juanita in OH says:

    Health can be a weary and arduous journey for everyone concerned. All of you are in my heart and prayers. I will read the obituary in a little bit…right now my heart is heavy. Sending WARM cyber HUGS to ALL. God Bless.

  13. Julie Coffman says:

    Jessica,
    Praying for your sweet family. Remember your Grams with smiles and I hope your grandfather finds some peace.

  14. Such a difficult time for all of you. Prayers of strength and healing.

  15. I’m so sorry that your family is experiencing such a deep loss. I’m praying for all of you. I know your it’s heartbreaking to see your grandfather without your grandmother. My parents were married for 70 years. My mom passed 2 years before my dad and her passed away this past May at the age of 92. I know daddy missed my mom every day and that they were happy to be together again in Heaven.

  16. I’m so sorry for what your grandfather (and your whole family) are going through. I wish I had words of comfort, but all I can offer are prayers for all of you.

  17. Prayers for your grandpa and family, it is such a difficult situation for your grandpa, his heart is broken.. Just prepare yourself for him to start going downhill, it is very common and my dad had no reason to go on without my mom and he slipped very quickly away from our lives. You have been so very blessed to have such a close knit family, may God continue to give you strength, compassion and wisdom to get thru the grieving time.

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